A Little Rhyme For Jesse I wrote in September

DEDICATED TO JESSE:

TRY TO TELL YOUR STORY,
GIVE YOU SOME GLORY.
ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE AN IMPACT, N FIGHT BACK
WITH NICENESS,
NO TEARS, NO FEARS, GOTTA BOTTLE UP YOUR SHORT YEARS.
mY POOR HUNNI, I FELT SO SAD FOR YOU.
ALL THE PAIN OF THE WORLD STRICKING AT YOU.
BUT YOU WERE A SOLDIER, FIGHTIN SO HARD
AGAINST CANCER,
N I TRIED TO FIND AN ANSWER.
EVEN TOGETHER WE COULDN'T WIN
THIS BATTLE.
NEW YEARS EVE WAS MY LAST NIGHT WITH YOU, MY JESSE..BOO
JANUARY 2ND, 2009,
I TOOK YOUR HAND N YOU TOOK MINE N WE KNEW IT WAS TIME,
AS YOU PUT IT "...TO MOVE FOWARD..."
AND WHAT HAPPENS NOBODY TELLS YOU,
IT'S A DOUBLE-EDGE SWORD.
TO LEAVE THE PAIN OF THIS WORLD,
YOU GOTTA ENDURE EVEN MORE!
BLINDED BY DARKNESS N STRUCK WITH FEAR & WONDERING WHICH DOOR? WHICH DOOR?
WHY OH WHY I HAD TO HELP YOU DIE.
AS HARD AS IT WAS, I AM THANKFUL
I GOT TO BE BY YOUR SIDE.
I AM GRATEFUL, TO GAVE A LITTLE COMFORT N PRAY FOR YOU &
SAY ITS OKAY, FIND THE LIGHT
GO ON YOUR JOURNEY...
ME N THE KIDS WILL BE ALRIGHT.
LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

ALWAYS N FOREVER.
LOVE N MISS YOU JESSE.

JESSICA

Busy December

The beginning of December. Awe, what a feeling I get throughout this month. My children are so excited; "is it Christmas yet??" I remember that feeling. Yet, its creeping up on a year anniversary of my husband Jesse's death. I don't know how to feel, I want to be happy for my children and it can be hard when I start missing Jesse. We set up our Christmas tree and I have different crafts and activities planned in my mind for the kids. I guess I will just go with the flow because I am not the only one who gets sad about Jesse, so does my son Jacob. He was just old enough to remember his Daddy and now inquires and talks about him pretty much on a daily basis. I think it is healthy and I try to do the best I can to give him age approriate answers. Well, I see the sun peering through the grey clouds outside my window; that is always an inspiration to me. Time for me to bring my son Jace to school. I'll have to come back tonight! Thanks for reading my blogs : )

Jessica

A Poem

Life is a treasure
that i cannot measure
it is not a summary
its many moments combined
some i hate
some i love
I wouldn't take back any
of mine.

I'm exhausted today...

It was a normal morning except I had to go sign up for WIC, yet that took a little over an hour. I just feel extra tired today for some reason. These are the roughest days, but still have to do what you got to. Unfortunately, it is only 5:50 because I cannot wait until bedtime! My kids are all watching noggin, atleast they're all being okay. Well, have to go make dinner for my hungry angels. I will be back, no worries!

Ms.Jessica Luke

Another Day

Well, got up at 7 am with all three of my kids and changed two diapers and got water for my son Jacob. Made some oatmeal with cinnamon and vanilla and peeled about five yellow apples. Immediately, my cherubs are super hungry so before I am even fully awake I'm on it! Turn the t.v. to try and stall their rumbling bellies while I try to hurry and cook, than I realize I still need to make my morning trip to the bathroom! I wish I had instant energy like them right when I woke up. After breakfast got to start my new workout, had to buy a video since workouts are no longer posted on demand, darn it I love free things! Yeah, got stick tightly to my super strict budget when possible. Gotta be smart about every single cent literally. Really I take advantage of all free things I can. For example, couple of weeks ago I brought my kids to a car dealership because they had a racecar driver there and free hot dogs, chips, potato salad, water and pop. Doesn't get better than that. My kids loved it and I didn't have to make dinner or wash dishes that night : ) Also, they got to see two racecars up close and got posters signed. That was definately worth our time. Anyways, during my workout my daughter Josilyn was standing in front of me and she kept lifting her legs trying to work out, too. She is so precious at just twenty months she amazes me. I love all three of my cherubs. Jacob mostly played games on the computer and Jace built multitudes of train tracks for hours. It was a typical Sunday. A lot of playing, eating and cleaning. Oh, almost forgot to mention Jace is going through potty training. Unfortunately, that came with two messes on the floor, icka, but it's a start. That was the highlight of my day, okay not really, but one of many.
Well, I'm ready to blast off to the land of dreams...sweet dreams everyone!

Ms.Jessica Luke

My very first blog...yeah!

Welcome to my Blogger Spot! I am so happy to be alive and to be blessed with three amazingly energetic very young children. But as a widow and single mom it can be quite the challenge. Nothing is impossible, that is what I tell myself everyday. Actually, I tell myself tons of positive little quotes as my kids are thrashing around the living room and dumping out there tubs of toys and bowls of cereal. I love them so much; they are my top reason for wanting to be alive. So, when I want to pull my hair out or scream I try to take a moment and remember to look at their smiling faces filled with true joy and I think as an adult we all want that smile and to be filled with true happiness just like that. So, to be truely happy just take atleast a half hour everyday to "play" whatever it is you want to; this alone has definately helped me. My choices of play include, to name a few: watching t.v., renting a movie, working out, taking a drive, dancing around to music, and drawing random doodles. Most of my "playtime" happens after my children are softly dreaming in their beds. Definately, I recommend this to everyone! Keeps me happy and smiling. Well, good night for now.